The Joys and Challenges of Parenting, Pt. 4

It truly is astounding the power we dads have in our children's lives, especially during the formative years of infancy through 4 years old.

The Joys and Challenges of Parenting, Pt. 4

"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."

(Ephesians 6:4)

It truly is astounding the power we dads have in our children's lives, especially during the formative years of infancy through 4 years old, where their personalities and outlook on life are formed. Kent Hughes writes on p. 47 of Disciplines of a Godly Man, "You will have this terrible power till you die, like it or not...What terrifying responsibilities! This is truly the power of life and death."

Dads, we must be especially careful in the words we use while speaking to our kids. Proverbs warns us that the power of life and death are in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21), and I have personally seen both the tearing down and the building up of human beings through spoken words. We dads can be overly critical by not only what we say, but also what we do not say. To withhold praise and encouragement from our children is simply unacceptable. It does not matter if our dads raised us this way. That is like saying that even though it is 2024 now, since your dad was raised in a house with no indoor plumbing, today we should also use an outhouse, as he did. But there is a better way. We can speak words of blessing and literally build up the self-esteem and character of our children.

Another way we can provoke our children is by not spending time with them and being too busy for them. Dads, there will be times when we have to work late, travel, etc., but that should not be the norm. I loved spending time with my kids both one-on-one and together as a family. Hannah and I would go on father/daughter dates, and we had a blast. Bryant, Leighton, and I would hang out one-on-one as well. Spending time with your kids when they are young is a sure way for them to want to spend time with you when they, and you, are older.

Kent Hughes also teaches in chapter four in his Disciplines of a Godly Man that being inconsistent is another way to provoke our children or lead them down a wrong path. I agree. Our kids need to see faithfulness and consistency in our lives in the ways we walk with the Lord, treat our wives, and how we interact with others. I heard this statement recently and it really spoke to me: "Your consistency is your currency."

Positively speaking, notice that verse 4 says we are to "bring them up"; this is also in the imperative mood. We are commanded as fathers to not exasperate our children, but bring them up, nourish them, and raise them. We are to raise our kids and not leave that role solely to our wives. It takes time and energy to raise our kids, and there is no substitute for time.