The Joys and Challenges of Parenting, Pt. 3

Blessed are the children whose parents bring them up in the nurture & discipline of the Lord. It is hard to overestimate the influence of parents on their children.

The Joys and Challenges of Parenting, Pt. 3

"Train up a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not depart from it."

(Proverbs 22:6)

This is probably the best-known verse in the Book of Wisdom, Proverbs, on the subject of raising or training children. The Hebrew word translated "train" is hanak, which has many meanings, including to dedicate, to narrow or hedge in, and to affect the taste. An Arabic practice for parents was to put date syrup on the palate to encourage a newborn to suck so he could be fed. Therefore, this word has both a negative and positive dimension. The parent of the child should restrict certain behavior as well as positively influence the child toward good behavior.

The verse does not provide a fool-proof result that every child raised in a God-fearing or Christian home will walk with God in his later years. An adult has to take responsibility and put into practice the godly advice imparted to him by his parents. But generally speaking, "Most children who are brought up in Christian homes, under the influence of godly parents who teach and live God's standards (cf. Eph. 6:4), follow that training." (S. S. Buzzell, "Proverbs" in The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, p. 875.)

Another excellent verse in the Bible on parents raising their children is Ephesians 6:4: "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." The Apostle Paul addresses the spiritual leader in the home—the fathers—and gives them a great piece of advice. First, he commands them to stop provoking their children to wrath. (In the Greek text, Paul uses a present active imperative verb coupled with the word, me, which denotes a strong negation. Paul commands fathers who are provoking their children to wrath to stop.) Fathers and mothers can provoke their children to excessive anger and wrath in a number of ways including unreal expectations, comparison to a sibling, physical, verbal and emotional abuse, neglect, and being overly critical, too strict, too busy, and inconsistent.

Blessed are those children whose parents bring them up, or raise them, in the nurture and discipline of the Lord. It is hard to put into words the power a parent has in a child's life to influence him or her toward either good or evil. A Harvard University study that was completed in the 1950s still has much to teach us today. Sociologists developed a test (with a 90% accuracy rating) to determine whether or not children would become delinquent. They discovered four primary factors that prevented delinquency in children. These factors included the following: the father was fair and consistent in his discipline; the mom supervised the child during the day; the parents were affectionate toward each other and the child; and the family spent time in activities where each member participated. (John MacArthur, The MacArthur New Testament Commentary—Ephesians, p. 316-17)

Thank you, dads, for loving your families and passing on the faith of Jesus to the next generation. Some of you are dads with young children, and you may feel overwhelmed and under-equipped to raise your sons and daughters. But God has given you this task, and what God assigns you, He always equips you to accomplish.