The Joys and Challenges of Parenting, Pt. 5

We are to instruct our kids in the Lord; we must teach them the ways of God and to fear God. You cannot do that by proxy; it is by your example.

The Joys and Challenges of Parenting, Pt. 5

"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."

(Ephesians 6:4)

Parents are to "bring them [their children] up in the training and admonition of the Lord." The idea here is discipline, the correcting or chastening of our children. We are to discipline our kids, for if we do not, they will be out of control. I do believe in spankings but definitely not beatings. I got beatings as a child, and it is not the way to raise your kids. But to discipline our kids shows that we care, and we are trying to build character in them and prepare them for life.

Paul also says, "admonition of the Lord." This word, nouthesia, is only used three times in the New Testament and contains the idea of instruction to avoid bad behavior. We are to instruct our kids in the Lord; we must teach them the ways of God and to fear God. You cannot do that by proxy, but you teach by precept and example. Evangeline Booth was asked when she first wanted to be a part of the Salvation Army, founded by her father William Booth. She said, "I saw my parents working for their people, bearing their burdens. Day and night. They did not have to say a word to me about Christianity." (Hughes, Disciplines of a Godly Man, p. 53)

I will close with some practical things that most already know but are good to be reminded of:

A. Parents: love each other. One of the best gifts a parent can give to a child is to have a healthy relationship with their spouse. When the husband loves his wife as Jesus loves the church and is willing to sacrifice for her and put her needs ahead of his own, then the child will learn sacrificial agape love. When the wife honors, respects, and shows deference to her husband, then the child will learn the importance of respect and how to treat others well.

B. Be real and consistent. You cannot fool your children. They see you for who you really are. If you are one way in public and another in private, they will learn to perfect the craft of hypocrisy just as you have. Remember, your consistency is your currency.

C. Do things that your child enjoys. Years ago, I asked one of my mentors for one key piece of parental advice. He told me to be sure to enter my children's world and do something that they enjoy, not necessarily what I enjoy. That proved to be a valuable piece of counsel. There were times when I would go to the mall or a particular toy store with one of my children, and it made their day!

D. Attend your children's special events. Moms and dads, parents and grandparents, make a special effort to be present when your child has a play, recital, sporting event, or anything in which he/she will be participating. There are times when you cannot be there, but let that be the exception, not the rule.

E. Speak words of blessing over your children in their presence. I am a big proponent of words of affirmation. Proverbs 18:21 states, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

F. Have fun! Especially when your kids are young, mom and dad, you have got to do things that are simply fun and pleasurable. Play games together. Laugh a lot. Go on vacations or, if money is tight, do a "staycation" whenever you can.

May God continue to bless and strengthen you, moms and dads! Your job is the most important one in the world. Above all, give your children and grandchildren a knowledge of Jesus Christ. Speak to them and live out before them the life of a true follower of Jesus. We cannot lead our children to a place we have not been. If you have not, then today give your life to Jesus and start being the man or woman He has created you to be!