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"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
(Genesis 2:24)
Marriage is God's big idea. He created it, gave the blueprint for it, and gives us specific ways our marriages can not only survive but also thrive. Before God created any other organization or entity, He created marriage, as seen in Genesis 2:21-24:
"And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said:
'This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.'
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
One of, if not the greatest gift God gives to you, apart from your salvation through His Son Jesus, is the gift of your spouse. You may not always think marriage is a great gift, but it is! Marriage is a wonderful, sanctifying experience. In marriage, we learn to love and care for another as God would have us do. In marriage, we see the picture of Christ, the husband, with His bride, the Church. Marriage is God's idea, and if you are married, you have been blessed by the Lord. Proverbs 18:22: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD."
I heard one pastor say that marriage is "sanctifying sandpaper". I think he is right. God uses marriage to scrub away so much of our selfishness and self-centeredness. The number one cause for failed marriages is too much focus on self. Yes, it goes back to pride, which seems to be the root or source of all sin. God's plan for all His children is for us to be conformed more and more into the image of Christ (Romans 8:29). The Lord uses marriage as a training ground to grow us in our relationship with Him. Marriage provides great opportunities for us to deny ourselves, crucify the desires of our flesh, prefer others, think less of self, and seek to be a servant instead of looking for ways to be served. Of course, as we live out the life of putting others first, God blesses us in wonderful ways. He gives us His peace and joy that sustain and empower us to continue to live the Spirit-filled life He intends for all His children.
Before we go further, perhaps you need a moment to pause and reflect on what you have read today. The Holy Spirit may be putting a spotlight on the cause for the discord you are experiencing in your marriage. So often, we look to place blame on our spouse when things are not going great. Sure, he or she has their part in the current crisis, but it could be you, not him or not her, who is the one who needs to repent and ask God and your spouse for forgiveness. I encourage you to do that now.
These two words will go a long way toward healing and restoration: "I'm sorry."
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