"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
(Ephesians 5:25, 33)
I am grateful to God for my wife, Ashley. We have been married for 36 years, and all our married life has been either preparing for the ministry or deeply engaged in ministry. She accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior when she was a child and felt the call to serve God vocationally while a teenager. She is with me right now on a mission trip to Asia. We are going to serve this week and next in two South Asian countries. I will be speaking at a persecuted pastors conference while she and others from our church will be serving the families of these pastors. She will specifically help with a children's camp. Next week, we will be visiting a formerly unreached people group that our church adopted almost 10 years ago.
To follow up on what I wrote about at the end of last week, here are my 6 principles for healthy marriages. Please know this is not an exhaustive list! I hope this helps and encourages you and your spouse.
- Pray out loud for each other. I pray out loud for Ashley at night, and she does the same for me in the mornings before I head off to work. I also pray for her in my quiet time and throughout the day. Prayer is the greatest gift you can give your spouse.
- Communicate every day, often, and frequently. Do not allow your lives to go in separate directions. Take the time to speak with but moreover listen to your spouse.
- Love and Respect. These are two mighty pillars of a strong marriage. I got this from Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Ephesians 5:25 teaches us that men are to love their wives, and verse 33 teaches us that wives are to respect their husbands. I highly recommend you read Eggerich's book, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs.
- Counseling is for wise people, not for cowards. Perhaps you and your spouse are serving the Lord yet experiencing conflicts in your marriage. I want to encourage you to reach out for help. Speak to a biblical marriage counselor and allow them to listen to you and speak life and truth to you. Sometimes it is so helpful just to have another person sit down and listen to you and your spouse and help you work through some issues.
- Date your mate. It is vitally important for you two to spend quality time together and a good quantity of it. Love is often spelled T-I-M-E. Ashley and I are very busy. We have something going on three nights a week through our church ministry: Sunday night service at our new church campus, Tuesday both of us are in D-path groups, and Wednesday night prayer meetings at GHBC. I also run with a group in our church on Monday nights. So, we make it a point to carve out time for just the two of us during the week. That looks like going out for breakfast, at least one dinner, and if a decent movie is playing, then we go to a movie on Friday afternoons.
- Be honest with one another, protect and fight for your marriage, and determine that divorce is not an option.
This is not everything I know about marriage, but hopefully these few pointers are a help and encouragement to you.
|