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As a student pastor, sometimes I felt like a glorified relationship counselor for my youth group. I cannot count the times a middle school boy came to me pledging his undying love for a girl. She was the girl of his dreams. He dropped her like a hot sack of potatoes two weeks later after she moved him into the "friend zone." With his dreams now shattered, he would then cringe at the very sound of her name! These teenage relationships rarely lasted and were not based on agape love.
In his book titled Love, David Augsburger mentions five different kinds of love observed in the Bible: "(1) eros, the search for an object in aesthetic, passionate, or spiritual love; (2) philia, the preferential bond of affection, friendship, and social solidarity; (3) storgē, the caregiving love of compassion; (4) agapē, the nonpreferential, self-giving love of equal respect; and (5) koinōnia, which is love in the mutuality of community, in the sharing of the common life in covenant and commitment."
In America, we toss the word love around so much that I believe it has a weakened meaning. I love Chic-fil-a! I loved the new Star Wars movie! Did you see that flower? I love it! Petty assignments have lowered the power of the word, so when we say, "I love Jesus," the significance wanes. "So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love" (1 Corinthians 13:13). Agape love is the greatest thing!
Paul speaks of the greatness of agape love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. This love is a virtue of God and unparalleled by any other. One can observe 16 characteristics of agape love in this passage:
1. Patient – even-tempered while enduring trying circumstances.
2. Kind – warmhearted, considerate, gentle, and sympathetic.
3. Not envious – not desirous of other's advantages.
4. Not boastful – does not exhibit self-importance.
5. Not arrogant – not haughty or conceived as being puffed up.
6. Not rude – not behave dishonorably but in accepted social standards.
7. Not self-absorbed – does not reach for personal desires.
8. Not irritable – not stirred up emotionally to act negatively.
9. Not resentful – not exhibit morally objectional behavior.
10. Does not celebrate wrongs – does not keep a tally of one's sins.
11. Rejoices in Truth – feels happiness and joy in uprightness.
12. Bears all things – endures the pleasant and the unpleasant.
13. Believes all things – applies trust in something.
14. Hopes in all things – expects and wishes.
15. Endures all things – withstands everything in courage.
16. Never fails – wins, does not suffer defeat.
Now reread each definition of agape love and see if you can add your name before each definition. (Your name) is patient, (Your name) is kind. (Your name) is not envious, etc. Can you truthfully read each one? I cannot either. Now, as soon as you read one that is not true, stop, pray, ask God to forgive you for failing to love as He commands us to, and then plead with Him to work in your heart and develop that aspect of agape love in you.
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