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"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
(Matthew 5:3)
Christian author Gordon MacDonald is 80 years old and still going strong. I listened to a podcast interview of him recently, and it was most helpful and insightful. He spoke about his view of life from 80 and gave 15 life principles he has learned over the years. It is a long episode but is well worth the time. While all 15 principles are great, number 10 stood out to me. In summary, it goes like this: "Receive compliments, criticism, and counsel with humility and appreciation. Avoid whining, complaining, and self-pity. Assume that there is at least a grain of truth in the things critics say about you and your work. Always in a conversation, look for the grain of truth. Everybody has something God has planted in them for you." (Source.)
Let's go a little deeper here. If you are okay with it, I will meddle in your private world for just a few minutes. I will begin with a confession. I have struggled through the years with criticism. I still bristle a little when someone criticizes me, but thankfully I am getting better. Sanctification is indeed a process, and I have not arrived! There are some reasons why I am especially sensitive to critics that trace way back to my childhood. However, the past is the past, and by God's amazing grace and power, we do not have to be chained to the hurts and feelings of the past.
Several years ago, a man at our church confronted me on a Sunday morning rather abrasively and asked me why I did not include his announcement in my weekly newsletter which I write for the church. I could have handled this so much better than I did. I responded to his criticism with a criticism of him (not good, by the way; this is never a good idea). I told him I did not appreciate his critical spirit. Well, he did not respond very well, and it was one of two occasions in my life as a pastor when I honestly thought to myself, "This guy is about to hit me." I wish I had just been quiet and gleaned the kernel of truth or the lesson God was teaching me in this moment.
How about you? Do you cut people off the moment they offer criticism, whether it is constructive or destructive? Gordon MacDonald argues that even from polemical or harsh criticisms, we can obtain a kernel of truth if we allow ourselves to be instructed. MacDonald says, "Always in a conversation, look for the grain of truth." I know it would be much easier if you had a warning that a confrontation or criticism was about to come your way. But you and I both know it does not work that way. We have to always be so filled with the Holy Spirit and dying to self that come what may, we do not react in anger, but we patiently listen and seek to understand before being understood.
I will pray for you, and I ask that you pray for me as well, that we all do a better job of being poor in spirit and learning in every situation what God wants us to learn.
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