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"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."
(Proverbs 25:11)
We can create life, hope, courage and a host of other wonderful things by the very words we speak to other human beings. Proverbs 25:11 teaches us that a word spoken at the right time in the right way is a beautiful thing.
My favorite of all the proverbs is Proverbs 12:25: "Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad." How do you speak words of life and gladden the heart of another person? I am not talking about flattery, as Proverbs warns against this. Flattery is where you speak kind words but with an impure heart. You selfishly hope that by saying a good word you will receive something in return. Proverbs 29:5 says the one who flatters is actually setting a trap or a snare.
So, how do you communicate a good word and build someone up?
First, you can do this by simply speaking kindly to that person. Tell them why you respect or appreciate them. Point to a trait, a characteristic, a gift they have, and commend them for it. Please do not give excuses like, "I am not an extrovert," or "I just don't have the gift of encouragement." If you have the thought of speaking a kind word to someone, then do it. Satan will not tempt you to build someone up with sincere words of praise. He will always tempt you to tear down and gossip.
Second, send an email to someone, or even better, send a hand-written note. In our world of quick messaging through Twitter and Facebook, we are missing out on a very powerful way to communicate, and that is simply writing a note with your own handwriting! I still keep handwritten notes. It is hard for me to throw them away; that is how much they mean to me!
Third, give secondhand compliments. This is where you tell someone the good word you heard another person say about him or her. It would go something like, "Hey Jim, I want to tell you that I heard Bob telling some guys the other day how much he respected you and your integrity." That is a secondhand compliment, and done tactfully and with a pure heart, these can really bolster someone.
Fourth--and this is a very simple way to build up another--just tell others "thank you" or "I appreciate you." Being grateful simply makes us better people and a whole lot more pleasant to be around. Try it today. Be very generous in your appreciation to others, and simply say, "Thank you."
Hawk Nelson's song simply entitled "Words" has these powerful lyrics: "Words can build you up, words can break you down; start a fire in your heart or put it out. Let my words be life. Let my words be truth." Great advice for us all!
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